id fuckin do anything for anita

id fuckin do anything for anita
she's fuckin amazin
can't believe she actually likes me
i love havni her around
she's got an amazing smile
she just makes me feel great
havin her around is amazin
can't believe she moved in
can't believe i've got a girlfriend that's living with me
i love the showers we took
i love that we fucked in my parents basement
i love that she let me kiss her
i love how she gets when i play music
she's fuckin amazin
i fuckin love her
she wants to go to fuckin england
she quit her fuckin job
we fuckin kissed at the piano bar
it was fuckin amazin
she's seen so much shit in her life
i just want to give her a good one
i want her to be with me when i take over the world
my accomplice
my partner in crime
the girl behind me
i want her to have a fucking wonderful life
and i love the things that she says
i can always make her laugh
and she can fuckin make me laugh too
its fuckin great
this that we have its fuckin awesome
reminds me of some of the shit i used to game with
those sorts of things
the way you can just be fuckin rediculously open
its fuckin nice
i love havin it
and i love havin her
and i think she loves havin me
its a wonderful feelin
we make each other happy
and thats all you fuckin need
its fuckin beautiful
fuckin wonderful shit
especially when she's on the fuckin phone

facebook has alot of fucking people i dislike

facebook has alot of fucking people i dislike
i was adding them inthe beginning
i dunno why
maybe i thought id try and reconnect with some old friends
but fucking turns out they werent friends
there's definately some satisfaction in getting rid of them
finally after all these fucking years
i can fucking put them in boxes they deserve
douchebag / motherfucker
makes it so much fucking easier to deal with them
or fucking choose not to deal with them again
lifes fucking short
we dont need to be carrying around all these fucking people
its not fucking worth the effort
so im dumping alot of these people
something i shouldve done a long fucking time
but the times fucking come and their times fucking up
so goodbye to the lot of ya
hope you have a decent fuckin life
go fucking bother someone else
all these fuckers man
they're fucking walking around doing all sorts of nonsense
it doesnt fucking make any sense to me
the sorts of people they were arefucking terrible
it was fucking insane
im fucking glad to be done with it
alot of these fucking people just needed to be fucking cut
so theyre not ont he fucking roster anymore
and its about fucking time
these people've caused enough fucking damage
tmie to fucking let 'em swim free
they can do whatever the fuck they want to do
as long as its fucking far away from me
i dont needa fucking see that shit anymore
im fucking done with all the bullshit
and im fucking glad to be fucking done with it
way too much bullshit for one person
and ive seen alot of shit
from these few people
im fucking done with it
and they can do whatever the fuck they want
because thats the fucking way it is
enjoy your fucking selves
have a fucking great life

so im just fuckin layin on my bed

so im just fuckin layin on my bed
and i cant think of a fuckin think to do
anitas gone for awhile
the place is a fuckin mess
parents keep fuckin callin
tryin to break myself away
tryin to be myself
not sure exactly what i am
friend told me i was FINDING MYSELF
what fuckin bullshit
but i do have alot of shit in my life
tryin to get rid of all of it
not fuckin easy to do
when you got all those people followin you around
fuckin insane
but anitas been great
although she's gone now
and things have been pretty good
we're gonna try and focus on this music thing
we'll see how that goes
she says she can book shows
we'll see how that goes too
definaetly excited about it all
but then im note xpecting anything either
i just wanna give it a good go
and i think maybe i might be able to now
me and anita we can take over the world
so we'll see how all this goes
might be fun
might needa move town
maybe to texas
perhaps new york
or maybe portland
lots of scenes in the country
need a better one than this maybe
the bands i like dont play here
but who knows
anyhow
just writin myself a song
since i need one to sing to
so this'll be it
alrighty
hurry back anita
it's shit, without ya

she wants me to fuckin meet the parents

she wants me to fuckin meet the parents
im not sure about this hit
but i dunno hah
maybe it'd be alright
maybe all'd be well
but im not sure
and i know that it'd def be weird
at least at first
sometimes i kinda become so introverted
its not good
and i know that anitas outgoing
i know its a strain on her
and sometimes its a strain on me
i dont know why i seem to restrict myself
its weird because i shouldnt
maybe its the shackles my parents put on me
that i never realized were there
until years down the road
its an inner struggle
and im trying to best it
but its difficult
and sometimes i think that the road ahead
is alot longer than i thought
but its ok because im not alone
and im there doing this with my girl
and we'll get there someday down the way
and it'll be cool it'll be great
i'll be glad and she'll be great
and it'll be good it'd be like fate
i'd finally be done and free and fine
and she'd be there with me at just the right time
so im glad she's around im glad she's here
she makes me feel like i have no fear
and she makes sense of the mess i live
and i feel like i have no sins left to forgive
she makes me feel pure and fun and young
and i love the taste of her lips and her tongue
she's thin she's hot she's fine she's great
this girl of mine wants to go on a date
im not sure if this is the best idea
but i might try it and see how it'd be, for real
so days go by and time passes quick
and meanwhile im with a girl that makes me sick
with love and lust and fun and fame
this girl of mine she knows my name

im fuckin wonderin if i shot myself in the foot

im fuckin wonderin if i shot myself in the foot
when i started seein this girl
maybe she took away my motivation to write
because i was fuckin miserable before
and i had a fuckin reason to get my thoughts down
now she's got me fuckin content
and its almost as if the strength is sapped
and instead there's nothin but pleasure
its fuckin bad because ive got no motivation
and without that shit i cant really pull this shit off
so im wonderin if i need to end things with her in order to keep going
but apart of me thinks thats so fuckin stupid that i should shoot myself for thinkin about it
im feelin fuckin great now better than i have in a while
why the fuck would i fuckin sabotage that shit
just so i can fuckin write a couple more fuckin songs
but i guess thats the mentality hardcore versus realist
well somebody who can actually stop and smell the roses
fuckin insane because ive got a fuckin conflict of interest here
dont fuckin know how im gonna make why way through this shit
fuckin murky waters i know
but its alright because at least its not painful like its been in the past
and i fuckin know that i can make it through this shit
and there will be a fuckin light at the end of the fuckin tunnel
so i just needa fuckin figure out a way to get from fuckin point a to point b
once ive got that fuckin methoid then ill be alright
but this girl is very fuckin into me and thats got me fuckin messed up
who would've thought that the fuckin love of a girlwould fuckin fuck you up this much
but it seems like it fuckin did
so im just fuckin wonderin what i needa do here
fuckin road isnt clear cut for me
and shit doesnt seem all that simple
im fuckin tryin to figure out what im tryin to do
crazy fuckin shit man
gotta be alotta cool things out there
gotta be somethin out there thats better than this shit
you can fuckin call me an escapist all you want
but thatsfuckin my shit
thats my fuckin territory and plan of action
so hop on the ride if you wanna come along
and we'll find our way to a better place
where we'll have something better than this forus

so all these fuckin mvs people

so all these fuckin mvs people
they're fuckin gettin together for somethin
dunno if im gonna go but ive got an invite
might end up going cause kretz is there
she's a fuckin nice teacher and i liked alot of those people
but alot of those people were fuckin phonies to me
i had to fuckin learn that shit the hard way
wasnt all that fuckin good back then
and isnt all that fuckin good right now
but those people its itneresting to go and see how they've ended up
so im really fucking pondering actually visiting this thing
but then maybe i wont not entirely sure
either fuckin way its definately somethin thats weighing on my mind
and im not entirely sure exactly what im fuckin gonna do
but i could fuckin go either way on this one
i remember how the people used to treat me back then
it wasnt great at all it was pretty shitty
how i used to fuckin be as well
i was fuckin unconfident and fuckin awkward
i was seventeen they were all eighteen
they were all dating and i was solitary
they would have parties and id never get invited
i did get some invitations to some parties
but i almost craved some of these peoples attention
and back then i couldnt get any of it
seems like ive gotten a bit better at getting peoples attention nowadays
but yeah im not fuckin sure exactly what i wana do with this shit
its a fuckin mystery to me but
im definately fuckin glad they invited me to this shit
and if im fuckin tryin to get more involved in the community then this is a great way to do it

dunno if im fuckin ready for a girl

dunno if im fuckin ready for a girl
i mean she's fuckin nice
thats fuckin for sure
but i dont fuckin know if im fuckin in the right headspace
im fuckin still crazed wth all my shit
its fuckin difficult
my heads fuckin full of shit
and its hard to think of anything
but im tryin to fuckin write this shit out
tryin to fuckin get my thoughts dow
with the fuckin hope that it fuckin helps
but yeah im fuckin spiralin and tryin to find some fuckin ground
it isnt all that fuckin easy
but fuckin yeah
she's fuckin nice
but i dont fuckin know if im fuckin ready for it
tryin to figure this shit out
cause i wanna get my shit figured out
cause i wanna be fuckin done with all of this
cause its goin on for far fuckin too long
but we'll see what i can fuckin do
if i can manage to do anything with this shit
cause im fuckin tired
and i just want some fuckin rest
tryin to figure out what the fuckin i wanna fuckin do
tryin to figure out what plan i wanna fuckin follow
where i wanna fuckin go
england iceland
im not fuckin sure
and its fuckin difficult to make these fuckin decisions
so yeah im not really fuckin sure what im gonna do
but whatever i fuckin do
ill fuckin try my hardest to make the best of it
i mean thats what i always do anyway
kinda fuckin important to keep your head fuckin up
dont be afraid to fuckin look forward and be optimistic
thats my medicine in these days of poison
i wanna be fuckin makin myself better
and my soul is fuckin poisoned
but im fuckin tryin to work out that splinter
and i can feel it fuckin comin out
startin to fuckin be free of it
startin to fuckin peel myself free of it
and thats fuckin awesome

this whole fuckin deviant art thing is pretty fuckin awesome

this whole fuckin deviant art thing is pretty fuckin awesome
gotta love all the different uploading all sorts of interestin stuff
its a great place to see somethin new every day
this is a place where people are creative about their own things
a place where they can show other artists what theyre doing
people can buy stuff and sell stuff
and i really love it alot
deviant art is a great fuckin website
ive got my own profile and i upload my own pictures
get some feedback every now and then
kinda nice
definately when people say they like the stuff
kinda makes me feel a little bit better
makes me wanna take more pictures
so thats good
everyones encouraging each other
and its a very nice website
people learning bout different things
sometimes they teach other people
people give advice
and you can see peoples reactions to all the nudes
kinda interesting to see how people react
personally i think its kindof an affront
when people start fuckin hatin on people for postin nudes
its just what the body looks like
without all these artificial things thats our body in its natural form
some are pretty sex
others are more fashionable
sometimes the emotion is the overwhelming thing that comes through
sometimes if someone is really sad then thats all you really see
and if theyre happy then you see a happy person
because the emotion will show on all parts of the body
and its not that big of a deal if they dont have clothes
some people like to make a big deal about it though
kindof annoying, to me
its not really their business
if people choose to do that, that's their choice
don't like it? don't look at it.
but instead they have to feel like they need to insult the artist
whichs absolute bullshit to me
the website needs to just encourage people
when you start to have all these harsh criticisms it doesnt help people to create more
if you want em to change their art, they're more likely to stop
and in the end its the artists own choice what he chooses to do

not sure bout this whole fuckin british trip

not sure bout this whole fuckin british trip
dunno if im gonna go
been a long while since ive been
i bet its probably snowing over there
im sure ill enjoy all the people
all those crazy people over there
with the british accents
and all that sorta stuff
the fields
sheep
farmers
long highways
drivin on the other side of the road
the queen
the history
cobblestone roads
pathways
its an old old place
thats one of the reasons i like it
all the old stones
somethin about them
somethin about them that i really like
its just got alot of depth to it
in a fuckin great way
i mean i havent seen anything thats even remotely close to england
its definately my favorite place
for most things
iceland definately is great for other stuff
although the thing about iceland is
its kinda fuckin barren
theres no people there
the land looks great
the people are nice
but i mean there's no people anywhere
its a very freakin oppressive kindof a place
but anyway
england is as well in its own way
but you can find your own little hole in england
burrow away
surround yourself by stuff you like
have dinner with your friends
have lotsa wooden things
own a nice car
and just feel at peace

the apartments not a fuckin mess anymore

the apartments not a fuckin mess anymore
ive got my friend to thank for that
id never have cleaned it up myself
and it looks pretty nice
although i do prefer a bit of a mess
thats more my style
especially when i know where everything is
bit of a mess never hurt anybody
couple clothes here
some food there
couple reciepts
dvds
cds
cords
guitars
mics
yep
thats the way i like to do it
everything kinda all over the place
more my style
kinda copies the world outside
natures kinda chaotic
and so's my workplace
i think anita almost got fired
she slept over and then she woke up late
that'd suck if she got fired
just cause she needs the money
and all that
but the jobs not that great
she does the register
stands over there
while people walk past with their stuff
but she's pretty fuckin awesome
and she's had alot of shit happen ot her in her life
it's just fuckin amazin
because she's happy as shit
she deserves a lot better than what she gets
she's got kindof a rare quality about her
something you dont see amongst most people
thats what i like
i like how she's different
and also a little bit better
well quite a bit better
than the average person anyway

so i was watchin some mister bean

so i was watchin some mister bean
and i was lookin at all the british things
and i was feelin a bit homesick
it was nice to have anita there
she's from england as well
at least her relatives are
i was actually born there
wales actually
and every time i watch all that stuff it makes me a bit homesick
in a good way
because they're all positive memories
but yeah
might actually be goin there in a couple days
with my dad
for winter vacation
for about two weeks
and it should be good
havent decided if im gonna go though
not sure if i wanna go now
like right now
because ive got stuff goin on here
but we did finish the album
so that was the main thing
that was why i brought the computer
and why i'd been tryin to meet up with anita
so we got all those recordings done
and ill go and sort those out later
but im not sure about the whole trip
i think it'd be kinda enjoyable
im pretty sure anyway
see old places and stuff
and old friends
people i used to go to school with
my oldest friend
who i think i met when i was three
might've been four
and i've known him since then
used to live down the street from us
with his sister brother father and mother
we used to play games
i used to love basil of baker street
winnie the pooh
thomas the tank engine
and football
proper football

a brief bit of satisfaction

a brief bit of satisfaction
sittin in the room
watchin the television
wonderin what the fucks gonna happen
wonderin about this trip
wonderin where we're gonna go
when im gonna go
what im gonna do
all that
and not sure about other stuff either
these are the things that im kinda trying to figure out
this house is kinda nice
now that its been cleaned up
i definately better here
was nice to share something that i liked with anita
i guess thats one of the nice things you can do with people
but anyway
there's other things i'd like to do
but im not sure if its really appropriate to bring up
not sure if she'd say yes
and not sure if we'll be friends after
dunno if it'll spoil everything
but i don't think it would
it's just our bodies natural way to give us a high
and we all need a form of expression
to get these things off our chest
but i dont know if she'd ever agree to do it
we'll see though
if i ever feel that fucking daring
i think its probably better to ask than not to
you never know what youre gonna hear
its worth asking
the worst they can say is no
and there's the chance that they might actually say yes
its kinda like tryin to get your own favorite loot from a chest
you never know what you're gonna get
and it can take awhile to get the good stuff
yeah its a crazy situation
i think paul kinda sensed it
i think he saw somethin was goin on
anyhow
yeah.
she's cool at least
and she likes mister bean

novembers almost over

novembers almost over
been a good time so far
found myself back at home again
not a place i wanna be
came for the thanksgiving nonsense
stayed a little too long
feels dead here
like there's no life
definately keeps me feelin a bit closed off
the whole town seems dead
ill be glad to be back in columbus
this place seems to kill your spirit
eight minutes to go
and december begins
and then its the season for christmas
anita and i are supposed to do some recordings for then
should be interesting to do
christmas carols and that
expression here seems quite sterile
my sister hasnt shown up
she doesnt seem like she wants to
this house can be like a bit of a cage
dont think my sisters really all that interested in seeing me
not really sure why
so december
wonder if there'll be snow
wonder if i'll do the christmas thing
wonder if i'll go to new york
for new years
and i wonder if i'll record the album like i want to
one for anita
one for me
should be good
but im bored
and i need somethin to do
its almost as if anita spoiled me
before it was a struggle
now its a pleasure
its a great thought knowin that someone in columbus is there
thinkin of you
and youre thinkin of them
i thought id try and get a girl
seems kinda difficult though
but yeah
im not really all that sure how im gonna do that
my hairs growin longer
and my guts growin larger
day by day as i stay in this house
my mom cooks alot
more than i need to be eatin
my dads always botherin me about trips
my sisters keepin far away
makes it kinda borin
supposedly there's friends of mine in town
but im sure i dont wanna see them
not really friends
more like people i used to hang out with
a long time ago
but yeah

cant believe i fuckin hurt myself

cant believe i fuckin hurt myself
cant beleive i put myself in that position
after everything thats happened i went in and made the same mistake
certainly is a reminder to stop
and i wont meet up with those people
drugs everywhere
these people dont understand how to just live
its fuckin rediculous
fuckin walkin around doin all their fuckin drugs
and for what
just to fuckin hasten their death
you can have enjoyment doin other things
pleasure doesnt needa be comin from drugs
take a page out of a hedonists book
there's many things to do in life besides drugs
thats where they go wrong
they pick the barbed wire to put down their throat
fucks up themselves
and that sorta shit is no good
this fuckin bipolar kid took extasy
released all his fuckin dopamine
and nearly fuckin topped himself
the day before he fuckin met me
i cant be fuckin entrusted with all these peoples lives
they dont seem to be takin care of themselves
its not a good situation to be in
the way they go they wont last long
i think i did my bit to tell him to get off the drugs
in a direct way that i dont think i ever told vivek
thats probably the best thing i can do
i dont know this kid he's not my friend
there's not much i can do for him
my own life requires my own attention
im not quite a fifteen in this whole realm yet
im just not in a position to be helping other people
in my current state i need to help myself
and thats the truth of it
i needa get myself into a sustainably good position
and only then can i actually think of helpin other people
so then we get into a position of self preservation
and i cant be fuckin puttin myself in positions that jeapordize my future
thats not my perogative right now
i understand where that kid's heads at
ive been there
im not there now
and i wouldnt be doin myself justice to run over and do it again
thats my position on all this
im not gonna get involved in that kindof a situation
you cant run into these situations too quickly
unless its a perfect fit
which it isnt
the kinda stuff he does doesnt sit with me
so i mean i dont really fuckin know what the best way to say it is
but i think its just not gonna work out
the more times you say it the easier it becomes to say
and this'll be number two for me
so fuckin good luck man
and dont fuckin top yourslf
youre pretty fuckin talented

so i just talked to some fuckin people

so i just takled to some fuckin people
talked to my mom
talked to the kid
kids whose got the mental stuff
to the girl
at the bar with her sister
bout hippies
and the guy
at the pool table
bout indians
and black people
and music
and the two and then three at the bar
before
bout indians
and music
and bands
and alarms
these were the things we talked about
and the magazine man
coming in for photographs
askin for names
and what we'd like for christmas
i told em nothin
didnt tell em that i dont celebrate christmas!
told me thats the only ones gonna be allowed ta say that
got on some games
some mini dnd thing
got on the computer
played some computer game
raid cancelled early
and the television on
repetative bbc programs
theyve only got maybe four hours of tv
that they keep repeating
a stage performance
redemption from last week
the crowd liked it
got some good compliments
didnt accept them well
didnt endear myself with the audience
especially with the crowd i played with after
the group of children roamin around fearful
thats the way i kinda came across
a child runnin about
and the music far too loud
the pain in my head now from that
a bad idea to kinda play music with the guy
wont do that again
im there for my own setup and thats it
so yeah
alot of these people just kinda fuckin walkin around
and there i am tryin to play some music
some people liked it
people said it was cool
and thats the way i wanna go
thats my thing
im a solo player now

have you ever felt very small

have you ever felt very small
felt injured
you ever felt like something was wrong?
somethin had happened and you'd taken a blow
and you needed to just crawl away for a bit?
you ever felt like youve been struck
and you need to heal up
before you can get back on stage
the injuries can be severe
the people around can do bad things
they can harm you
and it can be hard to heal
but its good to throw yourself into the mix
if only to know what to avoid
to strengthen your resolve
and to make sure that youre doing the right thing
to know that someones watching you from every angle
and to know how to make it through that sort of watch
the british lend a hand in these situations
theyre designed to function under the pressure
without these abilities you cant do it
and definately with music i lean heavily on the british side
met a couple people so far
lesbian and a bipolar kid, and a new guy in town
everybodys seekin somethin to complete themselves
and what am i
kid without friends?
havin been isolated for years?
fearful and tryin to get back into it?
hard workin
but easily dissuaded
what am i?
dunno
but its easier to put labels on other people
and its also interesting to hear the labels that're put on me
but its better to live oblivious of those labels other people put on you
the label i put on myself is a bit more flexible
in fact i would say im probably capable of anything
not limited by anything
from many places
roots in both the east and west
passports to go where i want
in a position of privaledge
but also of servitude to people
coming from a family of people who serve the people
these are the sorts of things that can really make or break a person
i wont say that im completely without fear
that would be a lie
but perhaps the ability to do something with the knowledge of existing fear
you could probably call that courage
and then perhaps i could call myself courageous
these fuckin kids
kirby, sean, paul, vivek,
all these kids tryin to tell me what to do
and me lookin for someone to tell me
me needing them
and i guess them needing me
but being in a position like that
i learned to exist on my own
you cant function dependant all the time
if those you depend on are removed from the situation
you have to learn to be self - dependant
if you cant do it yourself then you crawl away and die
and its the adaptations that i made when i was alone that serve me well now
and i guess in a sense thats why i understand the appalacian people
and i guess thats how i understand the american people
certainly isolation is key to the frontier experience
in england youre never allowed to be alone
privacy is a kind of thing that is a valued commodity
in america privacy's the norm
spending some intimate time with somebody's a rarity
and so people end up needing people
as an extra thing, a personal development
to kinda fill the void that society leaves
americas based upon survival
all those extra things are left to the people

these are some fuckin murky waters

these are some fuckin murky waters
these people are so fucking strage to me
these people have my skin color on their body
but they dont have my mind intheir heads
the truth of it is theyre not british
and they definately dont listen to the kind of music i do
these are kids who've all been inspired by hip hop
its a sad state of affairs
indian kids ushered into all this hip hop nonsense
its not a bad thing but its not ours
wheres our fucking own thing
what have we created thats ours
how can we indentify ourselves as indians when we dont have any kind of identity
its a fucking joke and its fucking rediculous
how the fuck can all these kids dance to all this music
do none of them like anything besides hip hop
do none of them actually like anything good whatsoever
are they all into the same sort of stuff
are they all so fucking similar to each other
maybe this is the conservative indian crowd
and that fucking kid at the door reminded me of avtar
man what a fucking kid
he created all this
i think
maybe he didnt
maybe this is something that was already there
but we need to have some fucking kind of identity
beyond fucking bhangra
beyond fucking bollywood
and one that doesnt involve hip hop
is there anything creative about our people
do we only have people who doctors lawyers and fucking engineers
what a fucking joke
but the truth of it is there's always creative indians
but where the hell do these creative indians go
and why arent they fuckin helpin other indians
where's the fucking community
there should be fucking stands of shit outside the fucking places
there should be love and not fucking money that motivates all of this
i dont really fucking know what the hell is going on
but its a sorry state of affairs if ive seen anything fucking like that
its fucking shit and something should be done
dunno why these kids cant realize that there is something wrong there
and what a fucking rude kid

there was a woman in the place

there was a woman in the place
she gave me a look
i was just sayin a little comment
taklin about how slow the thing was
but ive never seen someone so condescending in my life
give someone sugar they give you poison
that seems to be the way
i dunno if its the beard
if its the skin
if its the clothes
but im not sure whatever it is
this woman just had nothin to do with me
and i cant help but feel if i was wearni a bit different clothin
or if my hair was cut differently
maybe my skin was a bit lighter
maybe i talked a bit differently
that perhaps id hit the magic spot
thats one thing that kinda struck me
i was in a room full of indian people
at first i felt proud
surrounded by people like me
was pretty nice
music was playin
people're dancin
then i saw the kids at the bar
and i saw the kids walkin around
noticed that when i stopped to stand that a crowd would form
these kids are almost beggin for someone to lead them
but to what
and to where
and am i really indian?
i thoguht my parents only raised me sikh
it kinda made me sad
i felt like i was surrounded by people who werent really like me
i had more in common with the people at the "dive bars" than the people here
at least thats what kirby called it
"dive bars"
what a fuckin joke
its just a fuckin bar like any other place
even fucking kirbys not my type of people anymore
what exactly is my type
or maybe im too old to have a type
maybe now i define myself
but thats probably a good thing

there's a sikh kid drinking beer

there's a sikh kid drinking beer
at the bar over there
that kid could've been me
maybe a couple years ago
i asid waheguru to him on the way out
and i felt like i was surrounded by a bunch of brats
everyone around here seemed very privaleged
even the way they were tryin to order drinks
i didnt really like what was goin on
made me feel like maybe thats whati looked like when i was younger
im not really sure what the situation was then
because back in the day i mean all sorts of things were going on
but one of the things i was was a spoilt kid i guess
the way our parents kinda pay for everything is not very good
the suits and the beer its all bought by other peoples money
this's where everyones parents are spending all their cash
all being flushed down the toilet after being pissed out by their kid
there were two parties in the palce
one of them was hiphop the other bhangra
i dunno man i didnt feel in place in either
these clubs are fuckin packed with people
didnt feel very comfortable
and then there was the kid at the front of the door
like some sort of a business man or something
i felt like maybe they were worms
this kid who fuckin lectured me on sikh shit
there he is running a business getting sikh kids drunk
what a fucking ripoff
what a fucking fake
what a fucking idiot
how the fuck can he kinda wear that turban
what a fucking disgrace
do those people not have a fuckin idea what theyre doin
what im sayin is that all these people wearin turbans
have no fuckin clue what it means to be a sikh
these people are fuckin all about the money and everything
to me it just didnt seem like that great of a situation
some guy whose just fuckin there to make as much money as he can
a bunch of kids who're spending their parents money
and a club packed to the brim
so much that you couldnt even walk
a girl walked up to me when i was standing back
maybe she thought she would have a conversation with me
but wheni took a video of the scene she fled away
i dunno fi she didnt like people who take videos
or if she thought i was workin there
but either way she didnt last very long
i didnt say much to her myself

so i hit the town and saw some cool stuff

so i hit the town and saw some cool stuff
the bands that played were good
i was really quite surprised
cause id not seen anything good yet
i went into a coffee shop and i was really surprised
the mood was very different
the band that played was quite soft
and you could feel the love in the air
i stood in line to grab a juice
but it took quite a long time
i told the old woman good luck in gettin yours
she just gave me a dry look and turned her face
business as usual for all these people it seems
yeah im not really a big fan of alot of these people
seem to like ot keep to themselves
seem a bit snooty to me
they say the british are uppity but i think these guys are much worse
fucking keeping everything to themselves
everythings hush hush
very club soceity
not really my type
but i decided i was going to involve myself in what was going on
i walked into an indian party
felt kinda outa place
dont know why but its different
these kids they call themself indian
but they werent born there
some were
but they dont really feel american
it seems a bit rediculous to me
these people fuckin dancin together
sikh kids drinkin at the bar
while wearing a turban
kinda rediculous if you ask me

i was thinkin what it'd be like to have a cat

i was thinkin what it'd be like to have a cat
or maybe perhaps a dog
it'd live in my apartment with me over here
it might be a bit of a job
i think id like the company
but would i mind the hair?
i think this place is dirty enough
dont need any more dirt there
but a dog is a fun thing to have
its not a thing really but a creature
it'd bring some life to this still place
it'd be quite a cool new feature
i think i'd prefer a big dog to a cat
cause cats are quite territorial
and dogs are always very friendly
and i dont think they need a tutorial
i grew up around dogs when i was india
when we went on that month long trip
and the owners seemed to love their loving pets
love could make the heart skip!
if you hadn't noticed im trying to rhyme
it's a nice little game to play
when you're trying to think out all your thoughts
you wanna make sure you rhyme, if i may
and a dog would be a nice thing
something you could take on walks
but the shame about a dog or a cat
is that they never really seem to talk
a big dog is a cool thing
full of heart and life
could go running in fields and play with frisbees
and jogging to Fife
you can scratch its head and pat its belly
and when its good you can give it some food
and it'd smile a big smile with its toothy grin
a very clear indiciation of its mood
you could run and get in shape with a dog by your side
i dunno what i'd call a dog or a cat
i wouldnt want one of those weird names
maybe robbie or bobby or something like that
or perhaps even saint james!
the thing i wouldnt like about a dog or a cat
is that one day they'd wither away
and you'd have to lay their body to rest
that would be a dreadful day
but i suppose these things just come to pass
like the leaves on trees in fall
and though its a depressing time of year
its not that bad all in all
and so maybe id get another dog or a cat
maybe one with a similar name
maybe it'll an abnormal dog or a cat
one that makes worldwide fame!

youve gotta love the bbc

youve gotta love the bbc
when youre away from home its a good reminder
theyve got this thing now called bbc america
its alright
they dont show everything
but at least its a bit
get some top gear and some monty python
some other stuff as well
pretty good really
been away from england since i was ten
thats a long time to be away from home
thats the way i feel about it
england was my home
and i was taken without bein asked
i was told no, thats it
youre comin with us to america
and as it turned out i hated america
i mean i dont hate america
but its no fuckin england
its not my home
i think for alot of people there's only one home in their life
one true home
and for me its england
ive visited a couple times
met some of the old friends
seen some of the old places
but it always leaves me wanting more
every time i go i try to see something new
maybe next time ill see the wall
as i get older the studies kinda become an issue
dont even know what i want to major in
its just not something ive really spent much time with
i guess im not in the right frame of mind for it
i mean youve gotta really kinda be willin
ive lived as a musician for a long time
and a vagabond for awhile as well
hard to become a student again
been five years since i left high school
been alot of places done alot of things
attempted at least three years of college
written alot of music
still unsure of what i wanna do
you could definately say im unsure
i have no fuckin idea what i wanna do
i have some fuckin ideas
but im not sure i can actually fulfill them
ive gotta learn how to interface with this world
cause its fuckin different
its not like i remember
we used to roam around and party all the time
when we werent we were writin music
and we wrote some good stuff too
but livin the rock star life doesnt always work
friend passed away and i moved in with the folks
i guess we'll see where this all goes
cause im not really fuckin sure

its a rainy day

its a rainy day
alot of things happen on a rainy day
good things
i remember rain in england
on the fields
while we played soccer
it rained on the fields in dayton
soccer games on mud fields are epic
nothing like em
throwni yourself down on the field
to try and help the team win the game
dunno if we won very much
but it was definately fun
us against teh world
raise your fist to the sky
scream loud
then charge towards the enemy
try and score a goal
run back on defense
clear it out fast as you can
in england we used to play soccer all the time
we used to go every friday to the fields
the school probably owned it and we took a bus everytime
theyd setup cones on the fields
and we'd do scrimmages
they were pretty fun
we'd have the shin guards
socks and cleats
shorts and shirt
and we'd go after the ball
grass was always green
and there's nothing like playing soccer in a field of grass
we eventually set up a goal
full sized one
never used it though
once a friend of mine did a full flip
after he got tackled
yeah there were the war stories from when we were younger
then the fizzle of the older years
at that point ohio was fucking beating me down
and not even soccer could've saved me
i didnt practice enough
i never fucking ate well
never did any runs
missed alot of practice
but the love was still there
all through the years
that remained intact
and even though i didnt try outwardly as much as i used to
on the inside i was still a warrior

walkin round on the fuckin streets of columbus

walkin round on the fuckin streets of columbus
i can remember how we used to do it
was quite a long time ago
back then it was an adventure
now its a chore
all the old places are gone
and all the people have seperated
the citys still here
but the vibes changed
and the musics changed
and there's definately a void
people here seem desperate
they need an artist like me
someone who can play some more positive stuff
that isnt so emo
that would be really great
i do catch some jazz bands around town
and i have seen some interesting stuff
made a couple friends
recorded some music
played on some stages
i remember in the streets
where we'd walk in the rain
excited to get on stage
there was an energy in the air
and it was contagious
we were gonna take on the world
i still have that in my heart
we had energy then
you could call us young
but im still that age
but my friend is gone
and its hard to be enthusiastic
its still in there
but so is alot of pain
and i just dont know how to get it out
and they mask each other
but i remember... walkin along on the streets
eatin at the vendors
and plottin our way to success
infusin me with some sort of spirit
a drive and a dream
these kindsof things stick with you
and even two three years after i still have that drive for it
underneath the lethargy my mind is young and energetic
and i definately yearn to leap around
but we'll see i guess
am i capable of it
i definately think i am
but i definately have to get over some of this stuff
only then will we be able to take the stage