id fuckin do anything for anita

id fuckin do anything for anita
she's fuckin amazin
can't believe she actually likes me
i love havni her around
she's got an amazing smile
she just makes me feel great
havin her around is amazin
can't believe she moved in
can't believe i've got a girlfriend that's living with me
i love the showers we took
i love that we fucked in my parents basement
i love that she let me kiss her
i love how she gets when i play music
she's fuckin amazin
i fuckin love her
she wants to go to fuckin england
she quit her fuckin job
we fuckin kissed at the piano bar
it was fuckin amazin
she's seen so much shit in her life
i just want to give her a good one
i want her to be with me when i take over the world
my accomplice
my partner in crime
the girl behind me
i want her to have a fucking wonderful life
and i love the things that she says
i can always make her laugh
and she can fuckin make me laugh too
its fuckin great
this that we have its fuckin awesome
reminds me of some of the shit i used to game with
those sorts of things
the way you can just be fuckin rediculously open
its fuckin nice
i love havin it
and i love havin her
and i think she loves havin me
its a wonderful feelin
we make each other happy
and thats all you fuckin need
its fuckin beautiful
fuckin wonderful shit
especially when she's on the fuckin phone

facebook has alot of fucking people i dislike

facebook has alot of fucking people i dislike
i was adding them inthe beginning
i dunno why
maybe i thought id try and reconnect with some old friends
but fucking turns out they werent friends
there's definately some satisfaction in getting rid of them
finally after all these fucking years
i can fucking put them in boxes they deserve
douchebag / motherfucker
makes it so much fucking easier to deal with them
or fucking choose not to deal with them again
lifes fucking short
we dont need to be carrying around all these fucking people
its not fucking worth the effort
so im dumping alot of these people
something i shouldve done a long fucking time
but the times fucking come and their times fucking up
so goodbye to the lot of ya
hope you have a decent fuckin life
go fucking bother someone else
all these fuckers man
they're fucking walking around doing all sorts of nonsense
it doesnt fucking make any sense to me
the sorts of people they were arefucking terrible
it was fucking insane
im fucking glad to be done with it
alot of these fucking people just needed to be fucking cut
so theyre not ont he fucking roster anymore
and its about fucking time
these people've caused enough fucking damage
tmie to fucking let 'em swim free
they can do whatever the fuck they want to do
as long as its fucking far away from me
i dont needa fucking see that shit anymore
im fucking done with all the bullshit
and im fucking glad to be fucking done with it
way too much bullshit for one person
and ive seen alot of shit
from these few people
im fucking done with it
and they can do whatever the fuck they want
because thats the fucking way it is
enjoy your fucking selves
have a fucking great life

so im just fuckin layin on my bed

so im just fuckin layin on my bed
and i cant think of a fuckin think to do
anitas gone for awhile
the place is a fuckin mess
parents keep fuckin callin
tryin to break myself away
tryin to be myself
not sure exactly what i am
friend told me i was FINDING MYSELF
what fuckin bullshit
but i do have alot of shit in my life
tryin to get rid of all of it
not fuckin easy to do
when you got all those people followin you around
fuckin insane
but anitas been great
although she's gone now
and things have been pretty good
we're gonna try and focus on this music thing
we'll see how that goes
she says she can book shows
we'll see how that goes too
definaetly excited about it all
but then im note xpecting anything either
i just wanna give it a good go
and i think maybe i might be able to now
me and anita we can take over the world
so we'll see how all this goes
might be fun
might needa move town
maybe to texas
perhaps new york
or maybe portland
lots of scenes in the country
need a better one than this maybe
the bands i like dont play here
but who knows
anyhow
just writin myself a song
since i need one to sing to
so this'll be it
alrighty
hurry back anita
it's shit, without ya

she wants me to fuckin meet the parents

she wants me to fuckin meet the parents
im not sure about this hit
but i dunno hah
maybe it'd be alright
maybe all'd be well
but im not sure
and i know that it'd def be weird
at least at first
sometimes i kinda become so introverted
its not good
and i know that anitas outgoing
i know its a strain on her
and sometimes its a strain on me
i dont know why i seem to restrict myself
its weird because i shouldnt
maybe its the shackles my parents put on me
that i never realized were there
until years down the road
its an inner struggle
and im trying to best it
but its difficult
and sometimes i think that the road ahead
is alot longer than i thought
but its ok because im not alone
and im there doing this with my girl
and we'll get there someday down the way
and it'll be cool it'll be great
i'll be glad and she'll be great
and it'll be good it'd be like fate
i'd finally be done and free and fine
and she'd be there with me at just the right time
so im glad she's around im glad she's here
she makes me feel like i have no fear
and she makes sense of the mess i live
and i feel like i have no sins left to forgive
she makes me feel pure and fun and young
and i love the taste of her lips and her tongue
she's thin she's hot she's fine she's great
this girl of mine wants to go on a date
im not sure if this is the best idea
but i might try it and see how it'd be, for real
so days go by and time passes quick
and meanwhile im with a girl that makes me sick
with love and lust and fun and fame
this girl of mine she knows my name

im fuckin wonderin if i shot myself in the foot

im fuckin wonderin if i shot myself in the foot
when i started seein this girl
maybe she took away my motivation to write
because i was fuckin miserable before
and i had a fuckin reason to get my thoughts down
now she's got me fuckin content
and its almost as if the strength is sapped
and instead there's nothin but pleasure
its fuckin bad because ive got no motivation
and without that shit i cant really pull this shit off
so im wonderin if i need to end things with her in order to keep going
but apart of me thinks thats so fuckin stupid that i should shoot myself for thinkin about it
im feelin fuckin great now better than i have in a while
why the fuck would i fuckin sabotage that shit
just so i can fuckin write a couple more fuckin songs
but i guess thats the mentality hardcore versus realist
well somebody who can actually stop and smell the roses
fuckin insane because ive got a fuckin conflict of interest here
dont fuckin know how im gonna make why way through this shit
fuckin murky waters i know
but its alright because at least its not painful like its been in the past
and i fuckin know that i can make it through this shit
and there will be a fuckin light at the end of the fuckin tunnel
so i just needa fuckin figure out a way to get from fuckin point a to point b
once ive got that fuckin methoid then ill be alright
but this girl is very fuckin into me and thats got me fuckin messed up
who would've thought that the fuckin love of a girlwould fuckin fuck you up this much
but it seems like it fuckin did
so im just fuckin wonderin what i needa do here
fuckin road isnt clear cut for me
and shit doesnt seem all that simple
im fuckin tryin to figure out what im tryin to do
crazy fuckin shit man
gotta be alotta cool things out there
gotta be somethin out there thats better than this shit
you can fuckin call me an escapist all you want
but thatsfuckin my shit
thats my fuckin territory and plan of action
so hop on the ride if you wanna come along
and we'll find our way to a better place
where we'll have something better than this forus

so all these fuckin mvs people

so all these fuckin mvs people
they're fuckin gettin together for somethin
dunno if im gonna go but ive got an invite
might end up going cause kretz is there
she's a fuckin nice teacher and i liked alot of those people
but alot of those people were fuckin phonies to me
i had to fuckin learn that shit the hard way
wasnt all that fuckin good back then
and isnt all that fuckin good right now
but those people its itneresting to go and see how they've ended up
so im really fucking pondering actually visiting this thing
but then maybe i wont not entirely sure
either fuckin way its definately somethin thats weighing on my mind
and im not entirely sure exactly what im fuckin gonna do
but i could fuckin go either way on this one
i remember how the people used to treat me back then
it wasnt great at all it was pretty shitty
how i used to fuckin be as well
i was fuckin unconfident and fuckin awkward
i was seventeen they were all eighteen
they were all dating and i was solitary
they would have parties and id never get invited
i did get some invitations to some parties
but i almost craved some of these peoples attention
and back then i couldnt get any of it
seems like ive gotten a bit better at getting peoples attention nowadays
but yeah im not fuckin sure exactly what i wana do with this shit
its a fuckin mystery to me but
im definately fuckin glad they invited me to this shit
and if im fuckin tryin to get more involved in the community then this is a great way to do it

dunno if im fuckin ready for a girl

dunno if im fuckin ready for a girl
i mean she's fuckin nice
thats fuckin for sure
but i dont fuckin know if im fuckin in the right headspace
im fuckin still crazed wth all my shit
its fuckin difficult
my heads fuckin full of shit
and its hard to think of anything
but im tryin to fuckin write this shit out
tryin to fuckin get my thoughts dow
with the fuckin hope that it fuckin helps
but yeah im fuckin spiralin and tryin to find some fuckin ground
it isnt all that fuckin easy
but fuckin yeah
she's fuckin nice
but i dont fuckin know if im fuckin ready for it
tryin to figure this shit out
cause i wanna get my shit figured out
cause i wanna be fuckin done with all of this
cause its goin on for far fuckin too long
but we'll see what i can fuckin do
if i can manage to do anything with this shit
cause im fuckin tired
and i just want some fuckin rest
tryin to figure out what the fuckin i wanna fuckin do
tryin to figure out what plan i wanna fuckin follow
where i wanna fuckin go
england iceland
im not fuckin sure
and its fuckin difficult to make these fuckin decisions
so yeah im not really fuckin sure what im gonna do
but whatever i fuckin do
ill fuckin try my hardest to make the best of it
i mean thats what i always do anyway
kinda fuckin important to keep your head fuckin up
dont be afraid to fuckin look forward and be optimistic
thats my medicine in these days of poison
i wanna be fuckin makin myself better
and my soul is fuckin poisoned
but im fuckin tryin to work out that splinter
and i can feel it fuckin comin out
startin to fuckin be free of it
startin to fuckin peel myself free of it
and thats fuckin awesome

this whole fuckin deviant art thing is pretty fuckin awesome

this whole fuckin deviant art thing is pretty fuckin awesome
gotta love all the different uploading all sorts of interestin stuff
its a great place to see somethin new every day
this is a place where people are creative about their own things
a place where they can show other artists what theyre doing
people can buy stuff and sell stuff
and i really love it alot
deviant art is a great fuckin website
ive got my own profile and i upload my own pictures
get some feedback every now and then
kinda nice
definately when people say they like the stuff
kinda makes me feel a little bit better
makes me wanna take more pictures
so thats good
everyones encouraging each other
and its a very nice website
people learning bout different things
sometimes they teach other people
people give advice
and you can see peoples reactions to all the nudes
kinda interesting to see how people react
personally i think its kindof an affront
when people start fuckin hatin on people for postin nudes
its just what the body looks like
without all these artificial things thats our body in its natural form
some are pretty sex
others are more fashionable
sometimes the emotion is the overwhelming thing that comes through
sometimes if someone is really sad then thats all you really see
and if theyre happy then you see a happy person
because the emotion will show on all parts of the body
and its not that big of a deal if they dont have clothes
some people like to make a big deal about it though
kindof annoying, to me
its not really their business
if people choose to do that, that's their choice
don't like it? don't look at it.
but instead they have to feel like they need to insult the artist
whichs absolute bullshit to me
the website needs to just encourage people
when you start to have all these harsh criticisms it doesnt help people to create more
if you want em to change their art, they're more likely to stop
and in the end its the artists own choice what he chooses to do

not sure bout this whole fuckin british trip

not sure bout this whole fuckin british trip
dunno if im gonna go
been a long while since ive been
i bet its probably snowing over there
im sure ill enjoy all the people
all those crazy people over there
with the british accents
and all that sorta stuff
the fields
sheep
farmers
long highways
drivin on the other side of the road
the queen
the history
cobblestone roads
pathways
its an old old place
thats one of the reasons i like it
all the old stones
somethin about them
somethin about them that i really like
its just got alot of depth to it
in a fuckin great way
i mean i havent seen anything thats even remotely close to england
its definately my favorite place
for most things
iceland definately is great for other stuff
although the thing about iceland is
its kinda fuckin barren
theres no people there
the land looks great
the people are nice
but i mean there's no people anywhere
its a very freakin oppressive kindof a place
but anyway
england is as well in its own way
but you can find your own little hole in england
burrow away
surround yourself by stuff you like
have dinner with your friends
have lotsa wooden things
own a nice car
and just feel at peace

the apartments not a fuckin mess anymore

the apartments not a fuckin mess anymore
ive got my friend to thank for that
id never have cleaned it up myself
and it looks pretty nice
although i do prefer a bit of a mess
thats more my style
especially when i know where everything is
bit of a mess never hurt anybody
couple clothes here
some food there
couple reciepts
dvds
cds
cords
guitars
mics
yep
thats the way i like to do it
everything kinda all over the place
more my style
kinda copies the world outside
natures kinda chaotic
and so's my workplace
i think anita almost got fired
she slept over and then she woke up late
that'd suck if she got fired
just cause she needs the money
and all that
but the jobs not that great
she does the register
stands over there
while people walk past with their stuff
but she's pretty fuckin awesome
and she's had alot of shit happen ot her in her life
it's just fuckin amazin
because she's happy as shit
she deserves a lot better than what she gets
she's got kindof a rare quality about her
something you dont see amongst most people
thats what i like
i like how she's different
and also a little bit better
well quite a bit better
than the average person anyway

so i was watchin some mister bean

so i was watchin some mister bean
and i was lookin at all the british things
and i was feelin a bit homesick
it was nice to have anita there
she's from england as well
at least her relatives are
i was actually born there
wales actually
and every time i watch all that stuff it makes me a bit homesick
in a good way
because they're all positive memories
but yeah
might actually be goin there in a couple days
with my dad
for winter vacation
for about two weeks
and it should be good
havent decided if im gonna go though
not sure if i wanna go now
like right now
because ive got stuff goin on here
but we did finish the album
so that was the main thing
that was why i brought the computer
and why i'd been tryin to meet up with anita
so we got all those recordings done
and ill go and sort those out later
but im not sure about the whole trip
i think it'd be kinda enjoyable
im pretty sure anyway
see old places and stuff
and old friends
people i used to go to school with
my oldest friend
who i think i met when i was three
might've been four
and i've known him since then
used to live down the street from us
with his sister brother father and mother
we used to play games
i used to love basil of baker street
winnie the pooh
thomas the tank engine
and football
proper football

a brief bit of satisfaction

a brief bit of satisfaction
sittin in the room
watchin the television
wonderin what the fucks gonna happen
wonderin about this trip
wonderin where we're gonna go
when im gonna go
what im gonna do
all that
and not sure about other stuff either
these are the things that im kinda trying to figure out
this house is kinda nice
now that its been cleaned up
i definately better here
was nice to share something that i liked with anita
i guess thats one of the nice things you can do with people
but anyway
there's other things i'd like to do
but im not sure if its really appropriate to bring up
not sure if she'd say yes
and not sure if we'll be friends after
dunno if it'll spoil everything
but i don't think it would
it's just our bodies natural way to give us a high
and we all need a form of expression
to get these things off our chest
but i dont know if she'd ever agree to do it
we'll see though
if i ever feel that fucking daring
i think its probably better to ask than not to
you never know what youre gonna hear
its worth asking
the worst they can say is no
and there's the chance that they might actually say yes
its kinda like tryin to get your own favorite loot from a chest
you never know what you're gonna get
and it can take awhile to get the good stuff
yeah its a crazy situation
i think paul kinda sensed it
i think he saw somethin was goin on
anyhow
yeah.
she's cool at least
and she likes mister bean